Beyond the Finish Line: An Executive Function Coach's Approach to a more Holistic Goal - Setting.

"Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail." – Ralph Waldo Emerson

As an Executive Function Coach, goal-setting is widely recognised as essential, but its usefulness has been viewed through different lenses. From a psychological standpoint, goals provide clarity and focus, guiding individuals toward specific outcomes and reducing ambiguity. Done right, they serve as a powerful motivator by offering a sense of purpose and direction. When the goal is achieved, it lends itself to self-efficacy, reinforcing the belief in one's abilities leading to confidence building over time.

For example, you are feeling stagnant about your career, craving growth but unsure where to start. So you decide to set a clear goal – Maybe it's to earn a digital strategy certification within six months to expand your career opportunities. You crafted a plan to dedicate three evenings weekly to online coursework. The tipping point is when you confidently share these new insights during a client meeting, earning your manager's praise and reinforcing your belief in your goal. By the end of six months, you would have achieved her certification, but more importantly, you have confidence and have rediscovered your passion for growth.

Neuroscientists also add another layer to this understanding by highlighting the brain's response to goal-setting. Achieving a goal triggers the release of dopamine, a chemical associated with pleasure and motivation. This enhances an individual's drive and improves cognitive efficiency, helping the brain allocate resources more effectively and minimise distractions.

From a behavioural perspective, goals are crucial for developing habits and routines, providing a foundation for consistent progress. They create accountability, fostering discipline and encouraging individuals to show up regularly.

Education professionals see goal-setting as a tool for skill development. Students can channel their efforts more effectively by focusing on specific, measurable outcomes. When goals are personally meaningful, they also ignite intrinsic motivation, increasing engagement and commitment to learning.

However, not all perspectives are entirely positive. Critics warn that overemphasising outcomes can lead to undue stress, tunnel vision, and even unethical shortcuts. Rigid goals may limit adaptability, making it difficult to respond to changing circumstances. Some argue that an excessive focus on results can overshadow the importance of enjoying the journey and learning from the process.

A more holistic perspective suggests that while goal-setting is invaluable, it should be balanced with flexibility and aligned with one's core values. Goals should drive productivity and contribute to mental wellness and life satisfaction. By taking a balanced and adaptive approach, goal setting can serve as a powerful tool for growth while minimising potential downsides.

What would a holistic perspective look like?

Rooted in Values - Setting Goals That Truly Matter

A holistic perspective on goal-setting focuses on more than just outcomes; it embraces the broader context of an individual's well-being, values, and adaptability. Rather than treating goals as rigid targets to be hit at any cost, this approach views them as dynamic guides that help shape a meaningful and fulfilling journey.

In this perspective, goals are deeply aligned with personal values and priorities, ensuring they resonate on an emotional level. For example, instead of setting a goal purely to achieve financial success, one might frame it around creating a balanced life that includes meaningful work, personal growth, and time for family. This alignment ensures that the pursuit of goals contributes to overall life satisfaction rather than becoming a source of stress or disconnection.

Flexibility is a cornerstone of this approach. Life is unpredictable, and circumstances can change rapidly. A holistic perspective acknowledges that goals might need to be adjusted or even redefined along the way. This adaptability prevents feelings of failure and fosters resilience, enabling individuals to pivot confidently while staying true to their core aspirations.

Additionally, the process itself is valued as much as the outcome. This means celebrating small wins, recognising progress, and finding joy in the daily efforts that lead to growth. It's about savouring the journey and learning from challenges rather than solely focusing on crossing the finish line.

Mental - wellness is another critical component. A holistic approach integrates self-care, mindfulness, and emotional balance into goal-setting. It emphasises that achieving a goal should not come at the expense of one's health or relationships. Regular reflection and self-assessment help ensure that the pursuit remains sustainable and enriching.

Ultimately, a holistic perspective on goal-setting is about creating a life that feels authentic and fulfilling. It's not just about where you want to go, but how you choose to travel—and who you become along the way. By balancing ambition with flexibility, mindfulness, and alignment with one's values, this approach turns goals into tools for building a life of purpose and contentment.

There are several books if you have not read already that explore goal- setting through a holistic lens.

In The Desire Map, Danielle LaPorte shifts the focus from external accomplishments to internal desires, encouraging readers to pursue goals that align with how they want to feel.

Similarly, Creating Your Best Life by Caroline Adams Miller and Dr. Michael Frisch combines positive psychology with practical exercises to help individuals craft a life that reflects their true selves and promotes overall happiness.

Michael Hyatt's Your Best Year Ever takes a structured approach, offering a five-step plan that integrates personal development with actionable goal-setting strategies.

Meanwhile, Stephen R. Covey's timeless The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People presents a principle-centered framework, aligning actions with core values for lasting effectiveness.

James Clear’s Atomic Habits (my personal favourite) adds a unique perspective by highlighting the transformative power of small, consistent actions and focusing on growth and adaptability rather than just outcomes.

Together, these works advocate for a goal-setting paradigm that transcends mere achievement, emphasizing personal growth, alignment with core values, and the fulfilment found in the journey itself.

Executive Function Coach Guide to Getting Started with the Basics: Goal -Setting through a Holistic Framework

For a first-timer, the holistic approach to goal setting emphasises aligning goals with your core values, ensuring flexibility, and enjoying the process. Here's a step-by-step guide to get you started:

1. Reflect on Your Values and Priorities

Before diving into specific goals, take a moment to reflect on what truly matters to you. Ask yourself:

• What makes me feel most fulfilled or energised?

• What values (e.g., family, health, learning, creativity) are central to my happiness?

• What areas of my life feel out of alignment with these values?

📌 Action: Write down 3-5 values that resonate most with you. For example, you might prioritise personal growth, connection, or balance.

2. Define How You Want to Feel

Rather than jumping to "do" goals (e.g., lose 10 pounds), focus on "feel" goals. Think about the emotions or states of being you want to experience.

• Do you want to feel healthier, calmer, more confident, or more connected to loved ones?

📌 Action: Write a sentence describing how you'd like to feel for each value. For example:

• Value: Health → "I want to feel energised and strong in my body."

• Value: Connection → "I want to feel present and engaged with my family."

3. Set Intentions, Not Just Goals

Intentions are broader than goals and capture the why behind your actions. They guide your choices without locking you into rigid outcomes.

📌 Action: Turn your feelings into intentions. For example:

• Intention: "I will move my body daily in ways that bring me joy and energise me."

• Intention: "I will spend time with my loved ones weekly to feel connected."

4. Break It Down with Micro-Steps

To avoid overwhelm, start small. Break your intentions into achievable micro-steps that can be easily integrated into your daily life.

📌 Action: Pick one intention and list tiny, actionable steps. For example:

• Intention: "I will move my body daily."

  • Step 1: Take a 10-minute walk after lunch.

  • Step 2: Stretch for 5 minutes in the morning.

  • Step 3: Try one yoga class this week.

5. Track Progress with Kindness

Focus on progress, not perfection. Celebrate small wins and regularly reflect on what's working and what isn't.

📌 Action: Keep a journal or tracker. Write down:

• What actions you took.

• How you felt afterwards.

• Any lessons learned or adjustments needed.

6. Build Flexibility into Your Goals

Life happens, and circumstances change. Be open to adapting your goals while staying true to your intentions.

📌 Action: Regularly ask yourself:

• Does this goal still align with my values?

• Is there a different way to approach this goal that feels more authentic or sustainable?

7. Enjoy the Journey

Holistic goal setting isn't just about reaching the destination—it's about growing, learning, and savouring the process.

📌 Action: Each week, reflect on:

• What you're grateful for.

• Moments where you felt aligned with your values.

• Any joy or satisfaction you've experienced, even in small ways.

  
  

Example in Practice

Let's say you want to feel more connected to your family (a value). Your intention could be: "I will strengthen family bonds through quality time." Your micro-steps might include:

• Scheduling a weekly game night.

• Turning off your phone during dinner.

• Writing a heartfelt note to a family member.

  
  

By focusing on your values, staying flexible, and appreciating the process, you'll build a goal-setting practice that feels both meaningful and manageable.

Embarking on a journey of personal growth and goal achievement can be significantly enhanced with the right tools. Here are some highly regarded goal-setting apps that align with a holistic approach, focusing on personal development, habit formation, and well-being:

1. Strides: A SMART goal and habit tracker with charts and reminders.

2. Way of Life: Uses a colour-coded system and trend charts to identify habit patterns.

3. Habitica: Turns goal tracking into a role-playing game for a fun, engaging experience.

These apps provide features like reminders, visual progress tracking, and motivational elements, making them suitable for beginners and experienced goal-setters.

I hope I have shared some tips to get you started with your intentions for 2025! Remember to always be kind to yourself and you don't have to do it alone.

My best,

Shyla